Las vegas casinos that don't want your business anymore

Hand-fed chips are so last century.

Las Vegas likes you. Really, really likes you. Or at least the slightly altered version of you that exists within a 45-mile stretch of MGM Resort property.

You might stroll the Strip in cutoff shorts and flip-flops with your hair looking like you stuck your finger in a light socket, but none of that matters one bit. You will be welcomed by fountains shooting water into the air, sculpted half-naked people sprouting from the ground like concrete fertilizer and giant neon structures shaped like things that might one day occupy your bathroom wall.

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Naturally, there will be casinos -- 71 of them, to be exact.

Each one trying desperately to get you inside with promises of free stuff, cold air and comfortable seating. They don't care where you stayed last night or which show you saw. Everyone is welcome here. Even you, guy wearing the "I Hate Las Vegas and Everything It Stands For" T-shirt.

1. The Strat

Sometimes referred to as the Stratosphere, this tower of technology was once known as the Sin City tallest building until the arrival of the unimpressive, run-of-the-mill Treasure Island tower in 1988. Regardless, this is an important landmark if only because it features some of the hand-fed chip traps also known as its gambling tables.

There are fewer than 10 of these left on the planet, and while many players prefer to have the dealer deny them a bet of $10,000 or more without having to leave their seat, there are some who appreciate being able to get up, stretch their legs and maybe grab a cocktail or something while they're down there haggling over that big bet.

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For those who enjoy spinning something round and weighted, the Strat is home to a massive selection of slot machines, including some that still use gumballs.

Still, no matter how hard it tries, the Strat just isn't wanted in other people's neighborhoods. The Wynn turned the towers down when they were looking for somewhere to put their employees, and both MGM and Venetian laughed in its face when it asked if it could set up shop out back. Even the Riviera, a reportedly dirty old broad who supposedly smells like cat piss, said the Strat wasn't classy enough to live in her parking lot.

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2. Palms Casino Resort

The Palms opened in 2001 and was instantly the hippest place in town -- a high-altitude oasis designed to tempt the young and reckless with breathtaking views, celebrity owners and a policy of "handing out chips to anyone with an expensive-looking watch."

This was the place Tyreke Evans spent his entire first summer after being drafted by the Kings. This was where the Kardashians got married. This was where you wanted to go.

For years, the Palms thrived, drawing the right kind of clientele and even inspiring an inferior copycat in the nearby Aladdin (now Planet Hollywood). But then something happened. Maybe it was the economy. Perhaps it was the rise of Lavo Nightclub, a place famous for charging $20 for a glass of water.

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Whatever it was, the Palms went from hot to not in the span of about three years. Now the place looks like a desperate has-been chasing after younger, trendier resorts with regular cries of "Just let me take you out for one drink, and I'll behave!"

Most recently, the Palms offered to build a ridiculous pool party venue for the Hard Rock, complete with multiple stages, a state-of-the-art sound system and some sort of waterslide that shoots you directly into the bikini-clad body of your choice. The Hardrock said thanks, but the Venus Pool Club is already in place, and besides, they've got their eye on the much classier Encore Water Polo Stadium.

3. Palm Tree Hotel and Casino

It takes some real stones to turn down the Palm Tree Hotel and Casino. Someplace. Anyplace. Anything.

Located directly across the street from the Riviera on Las Vegas' main drag, the Palm Tree has been offering its services since at least the late '70s. And yet, other Vegas casinos would rather fill their empty space with thin air.

Maybe the Palm Tree doesn't offer compensation anyway? We may never know.

4. Bally's Las Vegas

Once known as the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino -- yes, the same MGM that turned down the strata-geddon -- Bally's has definitely seen better days.

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In fact, it's so unwanted that when the CityCenter project was under construction next door, they actually went through the trouble of constructing their own facility to house workers instead of taking the proven, far less risky approach of encouraging hookers to hang out outside Bally's back door.

Now, to be fair, Bally's did manage to score a deal with the new owner of the old Frontier property, meaning it will live next to the new-and-improved Hard Rock. Still, based on the quality of its slots parlour, we're guessing that Bally's had offers to be taken out behind Chelsea Square Shopping Center and made to disappear, and it just refused to go.

5. Marquis Las Vegas

This used to be the Cosmopolitan of Las Boulevards South -- a quirky, independently owned hotel with loads of character and no need to constantly remind you that you're in Las Vegas.

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And people loved it. Until they stopped. According to reports, the Golden Nugget rejected any chance to add the Marquis to its portfolio, and the MGM-owned hotels were even less inclined to make an offer. At this point, the Strat is probably getting lonely late at night and the Palms has begged it to come over and hang out, and all the Marquis wants is a little companionship, but nobody seems willing to step up.

Of course, the Marquis can always fall back on its plan to remodel itself into a sleek, modern version of the Trump Soho. That seems to be working out well for everyone involved.

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Sheldon Adelson, known around the world for his modest demeanour and generosity, is not a charitable man. In fact, the Las Vegas Sands CEO rarely allows his casinos to compete for business, instead choosing to keep his properties full by any means necessary.

That includes shutting down entire hotel sections if the crowds get too thick, limiting discount room rates and even telling potential customers that every room in the city is booked. True or not, that's what the poor saps at the Venetian think the Victoriano is telling people these days.

Then again, the Vitanova might want to try sweetening its offer a bit. If current trends hold up, the Veneziano will soon be surrounded by empty lots -- not an ideal location for any business.

7. Trump International Hotel Las Vegas

Donald Trump loves Las Vegas almost as much as he loves himself, so it should come as no surprise that his only Vegas property is treated with the utmost respect.

Well, that's not entirely true. While the TI is more than acceptable for Donald, a look at the hotel's location shows it to be pretty darn undesirable to just about everyone else.

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Surrounded by the rumoured-to-be-coming-Raiders-stadium, the defunct Trump Plaza and the utterly despised Venezuela Hotel & Casino, the poor Tower Identical To The One From The Apprentice may as well have "Kick Me" written on its shiny derriere.

Even the struggling Stratosphere is like, "Dude, I wanna help you out, but your neighbours are scaring the bejeezus out of all my customers. No one wants to spend an evening in your shadow!"

Despite its obvious drawbacks, Trump Las Vegas has managed to survive longer than the Trump Plaza, which lasted a little more than four years before going bankrupt and being reopened as the Venezuela.

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History suggests that the Tower Identical To The One From The Apprentice will make it past the one-decade mark in March, making it ineligible for eviction under city guidelines. Here's hoping the Raiders get their stadium built; otherwise, we may see the first forced relocation of a condo tower since the Drew Peak City Center.

**Footnotes:*

***Venus Pool Club -- http://www.planethollywoodresort.com/nightclub.html ***Encore Water Polo Stadium -- https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424053111904685704577371832322544264**_*Trump calls to say rooms are full -- http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/trump-hotels-full-reporter-article-1.1083738