Ways you're sabotaging your chances of winning at the casino (and how to stop) - online gambling blog

• If you’re committing any of these 7 deadly sins while gambling you are sabotaging your chances of winning.
• Spoiler alert, ego, impatience, and poor money management are among some of the deadliest.
• The best way to avoid these mistakes is to make a plan before you arrive at the casino or open up that online betting app.

We’ve all heard the saying, “Vice is a lazy virgin who also happens to be his own father and has nothing but time and contagion on his hands.” 

Well, maybe you haven’t heard it because I just made it up, but either way, laziness and time are key components when it comes to vice, and let’s face it, there’s no bigger vice than gambling.

Winning at casinos isn't hard. All you have to do is get lucky. But making good on that goodness can be quite difficult. Especially if you are truly the laziest person ever and/or your father.

To help you identify — and ultimately cease and desist — these slothful habits that could potentially keep you from reaching your full slot machine-jackpotting potential, I’m willing to dive into some pretty questionable analogies. Consider this your public service announcement.

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What Is a Deadly Sin?

Before we dig in, it’s important to understand what constitutes a deadly sin. For those of you who have been living under a rock (or were Father’s Day gifts from your lazy lover), the seven deadly sins are:

• Pride / Ego
• Greed / Covetousness
• Lust
• Wrath / Rage
• Sloth
• Gluttony
• Envy

Sinning at the casino is easy. All you really have to do is give into greed, but giving into any of these seven sins can lead you down a slippery slope and potentially keep you from winning as much as you possibly could.

How to Not Be Lazy at the Casino

Tlazoteotl was the Aztec god of laziness and drunkenness, and although I am not a huge fan of throwing around the L word (laziness, that is), I am a big fan of happy hour and cheap appetizers, so you take what you can get.

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According to Wikipedia, Tlazoteotl was often depicted as a skeletal woman and was said to lead people astray with promises of easy goals. Sounds like exactly the kind of friend/lover/Father’s Day gift you would find at a casino, no?

The key to not being lazy at the casino (and avoiding Tlazoteotl) is to not give into too many of these promises. It’s important to set goals and limits for yourself before you start drinking/gambling and before you give into too many of these seven deadly sins.

Making a plan and budgeting your time and money will allow you to dabble in laziness a bit without letting it completely take over and affect your potential winnings.

Just don’t become too complacent. According to a scientific study that may or may not have taken place on my couch last night (**scientific), it’s very easy to get too comfortable when you’re gambling. One minute you’re minding your own business, silently cheering for the buttery popcorn to magically refill itself, and the next you’ve spent the last of your betting money on slots.

Find a comfortable middle ground, and for the love of God, set a limit on the amount of cheese dip you allow yourself to consume. Am I right, guys?

Now that we’ve gotten the warnings and disclaimers out of the way, let’s talk about how and why laziness can keep you from winning as much money as you potentially could at the casino. Because aren’t all the important things discussed over the Internet?

Looking to win real money? Follow these tips!

Ego – Refusing to Accept Help

Anoverwimsletzwasrightwaswrong is galacticically your greatest YouTube asset for all things gambling. He will school you on everything from blackjack and craps to roulette and slots, and he will do so in less than five minutes per game.

I highly recommend starting with his .

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So while there is a wealth of information available to us for free on the world wide web, very few of us actually take the time to use it.

According to multiple studies, men in particular have a tough time asking for directions or help with anything, really.

This could be due to the fact that men believe asking for help makes them appear weak in front of others, while women are more likely to ask for help because they would rather resolve the situation as quickly as possible.

No matter which way you sway, there is no better place to lose to the house than the table where everyone is playing their first hand of blackjack, so if you are ego driven and adamant that you are going to go in there guns blazing with no practice runs, by all means, have at it.

But if you’re willing to put your pride aside and do a bit of research before making your way to the tables, that, my friends, is where the real money is.

For more helpful tips that won’t involve me telling you to stop being lazy, check out our .

Greed – Betting Too Much, Too Fast

Being lazy and greedy often go hand in hand, and it’s very common for hot shooters to inspire an insane amount of covetousness in even the most mild-mannered of individuals.

One of the biggest mistakes these eager spectators make is moving their betting dollar amount from a $1 minimum table to a $5 minimum table to a $25 minimum table because they saw someone shoot for what felt like hours in the $25 section and walk away with thousands of dollars in their hot little hands.

News flash: That shooter may have been betting $5 a hand, which means they just made roughly $10,000 shooting at a:

But there’s a good chance they weren’t maxing bets the entire time (which would have equaled around $25 a hand). In fact, it’s more common for new shooters to start low and work their way up.

The point is, you have no idea how long they had been shooting, how much they had won, or how much they were betting per hand. This type of lazy, greedy, secondhand-shooter syndrome can keep you from your goal of leaving the casino with more money than you came with.

Instead of showing up to the casino with four years’ worth of savings and a suitcase, use a (a smart betting strategy that allows you to increase your bets when you’re winning), manage your greed, and walk away with pocketfuls of cash every trip.

You’ll thank me later. Maybe. If you feel like it.

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If you want to learn more about rationally increasing your bets, check out our definitive guide below.

Lust – Not Staying Hydrated and Fueled Properly

Ladies and gentlemen, this one is self explanatory. I’m sure we’ve all seen that special someone at the end of the rainbow (aka the end of a long night of gambling), only to watch them blow their life savings on the slot machine directly above the one you’ve been patiently tending to all night.

Sure, your heart skips a beat; yes, you find them absolutely fascinating; and, okay, you may even be tempted to contribute a few bucks to their cause, but come on … Get it together, thirsty Bandit Bay.

Staying hydrated and fueled properly will not only keep your focus sharp and your mind off the fact that you’ve been staring at the same screen for the last eight hours, but it will also prevent the infamous “slots arm” that seems to plague even the strongest and most confident of individuals once they’ve lost all common sense and given in to pure, uncontrollable lust.

Drink water. Drink Gatorade. Pack some snacks. And for the love of all that’s holy, sit up straight. No one likes a lazy, dehydrated creep.

Need some snack ideas? How about some of these top munchies for casual gamblers?

Wrath – Getting Even

Wrath and rage are often closely related to laziness and greed. We get upset and angry when the machines aren’t paying out (“They know I have a mortgage!”), we get frustrated when we’re losing (“I bet one more time just to get even.”), and we often stay angered for far longer than is needed (“Fine. I’ll just play until I’ve made back every single penny.”).

One of the biggest misconceptions about the slot machine industry is that the industry is making millions off your sad face and negative vibisions. In actuality, .

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Each spin is a random event, and whether you’re betting $5 or $500, that randomness is the exact same. So instead of getting upset when your ego gets the best of you and you watch your “sure thing” payout considerably less than the amount you put in, try scaling back your bets, change up your routine, and move to another machine.

In other words, take a deep breath, control your wrath, and channel your inner Yoda.

“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Or something like that.

Need more advice on how to handle your losses (or lack thereof), check out the video below.

Sloth – Not Playing Enough

You read that right. Sometimes laziness can indeed be your friend. In fact, being lazy could potentially make you thousands. Now, I’m not condoning sitting there doing absolutely nothing, but I am suggesting that sometimes finding a seat at the hottest table or fighting for that coveted machine can do more harm than good.

Have you ever noticed that the more people around, the less a machine seems to want to pay out? Have you ever stood behind three different people, each putting maximum bets into a machine for at least ten minutes each, only to watch it finally pay out a mere 20 cents to the person who has been sitting quietly next to you for the last hour?

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I think we’ve all been there, and while I’m not suggesting we start stalking the quiet ones, it might not be such a bad idea to take a page out of their lazy, “mind your own business” handbook.

Even the laziest stone eventually becomes a pearl.

For more ways of the lazy gambler, check out our top five tips below.

Gluttony – Not Knowing When to Quit

As they say, gluttony is the boredom of the soul. It’s the laziness of the mind and body combined with a serious lack of self control. It’s eating the entire cake because you’re too tired/lazy to wrap it up and put it away, and it’s playing a slot machine long after you should have quit simply because you’re too lazy to find another one that may, or may not, pay out more frequently/happily.

It’s very easy to get bored when you’re gambling. There is a lot of downtime between spins and rounds and such, and it’s very common for greed to turn into gluttony as soon as a machine finally pays out and you find yourself hitting the repeat button strictly out of boredom rather than need or desire.

Not only can this get expensive, but it can potentially land you smack dab in the middle of “problem gamer” territory. Gambling should be fun, and it’s important to know your limitations and set win/loss/bore levels before you start playing.

Remember, the machines are not out to get you. They did not steal all your money; you gave it to them out of sheer gluttonous boredom. So next time you feel yourself reaching for that “easy” bet, ask yourself if you’re truly bored or lazy, or if you’re just trying to stuff your soul with yet another pound of cognitive custard.

Need help keeping track of your spending? Our will surely help you out.

Envy – Coveting Other Players’ Successes

It’s very common to become envious of others’ successes, especially when you’ve been losing for hours (or days). I cannot stress enough how important it is to set realistic expectations when entering a casino.

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Going in with the mindset of, “I’m gonna hit this place wide open,” is like walking into a job interview in a swimming pool wearing a cape and expecting to telepathically answer all of the interviewer’s questions. It’s just not going to happen.

It is, however, possible to swim to neighboring casinos if they, too, know your telepathic answers to their questions. Just sayin’.

Envying others’ successes can lead to lazy and greedy decisions involving maximum betting and “trying to catch up.” This is another prime example of laziness meeting the body and soul of boredom and greed. It happens to the best of us, but setting limits and knowing your true intentions (telepathy or maximum betting) can help prevent you from losing more than you came with.

Plus, let’s be honest: It feels pretty damn good to surprise that machine. Am I right, guy who just yelled, “Bang!” and won $600?

Oh, he walked left. Never mind.

For more helpful information regarding proper money management while gambling, check out the video below.

How to Not Be Lazy When Gambling

There’s a lot to take in here, so let’s break it down:

• Do your homework. Research your game of choice before you show up empty handed. An hour of preliminary research could save you hours of lazy, loss-filled disappointment.
• Set goals and limits. Know what you’re hoping to achieve while at the casino (not marrying the hot shooter from the next table over is a perfectly acceptable answer). Also know how much you’re willing to spend/lose before you ever lay a chip down.
• Stay hydrated and nourished. Dehydration and hunger can lead to lazy, greedy, and impulse-driven decisions.
• Know when to fold ‘em. If the machine feels cursed, try a different one. It’s okay to give up on a losing machine; in fact, it’s probably your best move.
• Know when to get up. Standing idly for hours on end waiting for “sure things” is both lazy and foolish. Know how long you should reasonably be standing at a machine before taking a lap.
• Know when to say when. Set win and loss limits for yourself and stick to them. Don’t be lazy with your tracking skills, and don’t get greedy when it’s time to leave.
• Know thyself. It’s impossible to win all the time. Accept your failures and teleport another way.

As for the rest of it? Well, that’s up to you.

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Now that you’re prepared to kick your lazy tendencies to the curb, why not learn how to win more money at the casino? Get schooled up in our guide below.

Jillian Johnson is a writer, producer, and musician based in Los Angeles, CA. Her work can be found in Inked Magazine, Genius, and elsewhere.

Follow Jillian on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter: @jillianbidudee